So i left my Spanish future place of residence with a few hours notice due to bad weather. Came to Paris cause i had nothing else to do. I know that sounds silly, but that’s a luxury you get out here when there’s plenty of cheap bus/planes/cars to get you anywhere on this continent at a moment’s notice. Even though i was here for 2 weeks back in July, I still didn’t get to see or do everything so thought fcuk it. Im here for a week then back to Barcelona for a week then i hit up London
Found out ZZ Top are in town tonight so that will not suck. Maceo Parker was here on Thursday night but i had to skip it as it was nigh on impossible to get back to the hotel after the show. I could not get my funk on damn it. I did see him in Prince’s band in 2003 at the Basement in Sydney when Prince played a show at 4am to 200 people but that’s another story for another time.
So i decided to go to Disneyland. It was amazing. Ive wanted to go since i was 5. Sure its EuroDisney and its full of French people but it still rocked. I met a girl from Brazil (friend of a friend) near the Moulin Rouge the day before I went to get my Disney on and she asked me what i was doing tomorrow. I said “Disneyland”. She went wide eyed in wonderment at what fun could be had at a place like that. So we upped and left at 8am for the trek out to Disneyland. YEAH MOTHERFCUKER!!!!
Stupid arrogant fcukwit French poodle loving c.ocksuckers decided to strike over the price of cheese or croissants or some lame excuse to gather and riot so there was potential to delay us. But we beat the strike on the trains and made our way to Disney trouble free.
**pretend im 8 and then read the below sentence**
We walk in and booya theres Donald and Goofy and that was cool and the kids are freaking out (big ones too) and then like I hate rollercoasters but my new Brazilian friend forced me on to the Indiana Jones one and it was great so we went again then we met Mickey and that was intense and then i had ice cream and even though it was like 3 degrees at Disneyland it was great and then we went on a choo choo train and then had a burger that was in a Mickey container and the fries too (but the French call them frites) and why the fcuk do they put mayonnaise on frites?? so damn silly but then we found the star wars section and i went mental in anticipation and then we saw a FORREALS X Wing and it was awesome and then like went on this space simulator that took us to the forrest moon of Endor but we were still in France and then we saw a Michael Jackson 3D movie from the 80s when he still had his original face and i forgot how bad (in a good way) that motherfcuker can dance and then we lined up for 10 minutes to go on Space Mountain 2 and jeebus for someone who 5 hours earlier swore he would never ever go on a rollercoaster ever this was insane and then we went on it and there were asteroids and planets flying around and at one point i had no idea if i was upside down or going up a hill or what and i think i passed out for a few seconds and it was great then we came out of there and straight in to the merchandise shop and i got a t shirt for the therapist and then we heard music and ran over and there was a stage show and all the characters from Monsters Inc and Toy Story and The Incredibles and Lilo & Stitch and more Disney people and even Mickey was playing the drums and then we went straight to the tea cup ride and that was really cool and then straight to Le Pirates de Caribbean ride and that was boring compared to Space Mountain 2 but still great and it was dark and the water rollercoaster did this big drop and i couldn’t see and then a flash went off and the fools took my photo and then we did another rollercoaster and then got more merch and then it was time to leave as we had been there for almost 9 hours already.
**stop pretending im 8**
Happiest place on Earth?? No, that would be the Playboy Mansion. But it was a great day and even though its not the original Disneyland it was still awesome to see all the characters and rides and stuff that ive seen since i was a kid. And seeing so many happy kids running around (and the exhausted parents) was great too. The only thing that would have topped off such a great day was if i found Shirty The Slightly Aggressive Bear, but he was in hibernation / passed out as Ye Old Pissweak Worlde was under maintenance. Boo.
Then we took le metro to le big tower and then back to le hotel and had more le cocktails and stuff then i collapsed in le bed. Even le big kids cant handle a full day at le Disneyland
Sarah, im sorry i didn’t get to the other park next door for the Aerosmith ride, that would have been awesome but we ran out of time. BUT now i have an excuse to go there again. But before that we must do the real Disneyland in Cali pre Coachella awesomeness. Yes.
weewee
Le adam
Tres Cool...
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